Who should Roy Keane fight next?

Here at Cat Malojin we have nothing but love for Roy Keane’s antics and it was with great amusement that we heard that he got involved in a fracas with a taxi driver last Friday. Amusing, but not really surprising, considering that this is coming only a few short months since he got involved in a fracas with a fan, and followed that up with a heated argument with a host of journalists. This is obviously fantastic entertainment, but we’re beginning to become a bit concerned that he is fast running out of worthy contenders to fight. As a result Cat Malojin have come up with 5 people that we think may just fit the bill.

Roy Keane Vs Conor McGregor

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It’s hard to imagine that Keane has much time for McGregors braggadocio. However he probably does like his will to win. Nevertheless, we’d be happy enough just to watch a staring contest between these two. That intensity.

2

Roy Keane vs Supervillain

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One of the many faults with the recent plethora of superhero films is the the notable absence of a Roy Keane type superhero – criminal when you consider that they were able to shoe-horn Jeremy Renner firing a bow and arrow into the Avengers. You can’t imagine Keano would put up with Loki’s mind games for very long – “Ya Loki, big man are we? Shut your fucken mouth. I’ll see ya out there…”

Roy Keane vs ISIS

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“ISIS – I dont rate ye as a political movement, I don’t rate ye as a terrorist organisation, and I don’t rate ye as people. You can stick it up yer bollocks.”

Roy Keane Vs Sir Killalot

You can have your bull fighting and your Spanish matadors – I’ll have Keano vs Sir Killalot, on Robot Wars.

Probably about 12 years too late for that reference to make a whole pile of sense. All the same I doubt Roy would be too impressed with the cockiness of Sir Killalots name, especially considering he’s never killed anyone at all. At least when meeting Frank Leboeuf you always knew you were actually going to get a lukewarm beef pie and a flask full of gravy.

Roy Keane vs Roy Keane’s enemies

Keano clearly has a lot of bitterness for a lot of people, so we think he needs to get closure one way or another, so he can move on with his life. So what we’re suggesting it is this; A WWE free for all cage match – Roy Keane vs Alex Ferguson, Peter Schmeichel, Alf Inge Haaland, Patrick Vieira, Mick McCarthy, Jason McAteer and that 7 year old boy who looked at him funny back in 2009. And if there are special guest appearances by the likes of Ric Flair or Andre the Giant, all the better. Let’s change those enemies into frenemies.

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