Irish Rugbys Cult Heroes – The Cat Malojin Countdown

Two games into this years 6 Nations, and things are coming up Milhouse for Joe Schmidt and the Irish Rugby Team. Sexton, O’Brien and Healy all made successful returns to the squad and with the English next to make the trip to visit Landsdowne Road on March 1st, Ireland are in poll position to retain their title. Here at Catmalojin we are big rugby fans as previously outlined in our 6 Nations prediction post and so, we have decided to share our top 5 Irish rugby cult heroes.

5. Shane Byrne  Shane ByrneNumber 5 is everyone’s favourite aunt – Shane Byrne. Shane achieved an impressive 41 caps for country, and 2 more for the Lions, and is currently the man about town in Aughrim having recently starred in the astoundingly successful Mrs Brown’s Boys D’Movie. Shane acheived cult hero status among rugby fans for  both his beautiful chestnut locks and for his shorts, which had ‘GHETTO HUNNIE’ emblazoned across the back of them in rhinestones. More recently, he got his first big break in the entertainment industry playing the character ‘Norah Casey’ in the Irish version of Dragon’s Den.

4. Tony Buckley

Buckley

Weighing in at number four is 21st Cork man Tony Buckley. Tony somehow amassed 25 Ireland caps which is surprising as he is the only player in rugby history to never complete Level 1 of the Bleep Test.  A fan favourite for a number of reasons: his blistering pace off the mark, his inability to get socks to fit his calves and having to file for bankruptcy having spent a large fortune on customised Adidas cleats!

Here he is tossing away French man, like ya would an aul sack of soiled ear buds.

3. Geordan Murphy Murphy

I actually couldn’t think of anything about Geordan. I just like the guy for no good reason. You couldn’t be sure what he’d do next, if indeed anything. In fact he never seemed to do anything memorable – but still everyone assumed he was more badass and dangerous than he actually was. The rugby equivalent of an Alfa Romeo, and thats alright by us.

2. Keith Wood Woody

In at number two is an Irish legend, Keith Wood. Synonymous for his passion, pride and leadership Woody was inducted to IRB Hall of Fame last year. Wood shaves his head, back and chest twice daily, and greased himself up with margarine before every big match, so as to make him extra slippery for his opponents to grab onto. In fact, in wind tunnel tests scientists found that overall he is, on average, smoother to the touch than 82% of Barry Manilow. You can catch Wood reprising his role as the scheming eunuch Varys in Season 5 of Game of Thrones, coming soon.

1. Willie John McBride

During the 1974 Lions tour to South Africa, the Lions’ and Ireland captain Willie John McBride  instigated a policy of “one in, all in” – that is, when one Lion retaliated, all other Lions were expected to join in the melee and clock the nearest South African. By doing so, the referee would be unable to identify any single instigator and so would be left with the choice of sending off all or none of the team.  Take that Apartheid! This is a policy that we admire so much that we carry it on to this day, as Ernie Els has learned to his great pain on numerous occasions.

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